Conversations with Ororiseng

So the other day I was doing dishes and Ororiseng, my 9-year-old host sister, came up to me:

O: I have a fur coat.
Me: Oh, that's cool, I had one when I was young too.
O: My grandma has a whole lot of fur coats.
Me: Oh, cool.
O: Do you like fur coats?
Me: I don't believe in fur.
O: (blank look)
Me: When I was young, I thought they made fur coats from the fur when animals passed away. But when I got older, I found out they kill the animals to get their fur and sell it. I don't like the thought of hurting animals, so I don't believe in wearing fur coats.
O: But mine's pink.

Aww...

I realize that maybe the fur conversation may have been a bit too much, but I take every opportunity I can to teach Ororiseng something or show her another point of view since she is always looking for information. I think she really listens to me, and I believe in treating youth like growing people and not "little kids" so I am pretty honest with her. She asks me a lot of questions and I think she's really thirsty to learn.

I also think youth retain tons of stuff so I'm also really careful what I say because I know she'll soak it up like a sponge. She's just so special and she wants to learn, which is a fine quality in any growing (or grown!) person.

Ororiseng, my host sister, and me

This situation is also different because of culture. I'm honestly not sure about Ororiseng's culture, Tswana, if they kill animals for purposes other than eating. Another one of the South African tribes, Ndebele, kills animals to wear their hides as a power thing to show that the hunter is fast enough to kill a cheetah, lion, what-what. Makes sense, but I'm still not excited about it.

I think Tswanas are more utilitarian and do things for very practical purposes like eating and surviving. But, if wearing animal hides is part of Ororiseng's culture, I don't want to influence her away from that. I still won't believe in killing animals for domination and sport to wear their fur, but I understand it's a realistic part of many cultures worldwide and I respect that.

It's also very different for someone to uphold their heritage in wearing a pelt of an animal sacred to their culture than some starlet wearing fur at a Hollywood event with no connection to anything other than fashion. Anyway, that was a lot about fur. And fur isn't even on my top ten list of issues I advocate for, so I'll wrap this up : )

Sala sentle (stay well),

Casey

Did I Just Defend Tim McGraw?

No offense if you love country music, but I’ve just never been a fan. However, it does seem to be the music most closely associated with good ole American values and the heartland so some songs like I'm Proud to be an American have popped into my head since living in South Africa.

So the other day I’m watching this South African program called Flash! which is like a classier version of E! (sorry E!, I still love you) and Flash! was doing their weekly top-something list and this list was about surprising pairings in music. They highlighted the Tim McGraw and Nelly team-up for 2005’s Over and Over Again. I remember at the time not really liking either artist, but I enjoyed the song. And I was excited about the bridge between country and hip-hop.

Like a VH1 show, Flash! has barely-known personalities discuss their list of the top-somethings. One of the commentator guys goes “I mean, Nelly, he’s so cool and hip and then what’s he doing singing country music? And who the heck is Tim McGraw?”

Ack! I say to the TV! Tim McGraw is like the number one country music singer and his wife Faith Hill is like an even bigger deal than he is! Go to Nashville, they’ll ask who you are!

Then I realized I just defended Tim McGraw to a C-list personality on a South African TV show I’ve watched twice…

This story illustrates how much of a pro-American I have become. I’ve always been proud to be from America, but living in another country has really shown me how excited I am to be American. (So much so that I defend a music artist I'm not really a fan of!) This is, of course, not to say that America is perfect and without flaws (reading the newspaper will confirm that). But people want things to work. They care about what happens to their communities and there’s a sense of pro-activeness in most Americans that I really enjoy. Things just work more slowly here in South Africa; it’s a different culture and the dynamics are different.

Take for instance, being a woman. A woman in America who wants it all – career, family, personal life – may feel guilty that she can’t spend as much time with her child because she’s working. But she still works to provide for her family. And, most likely, her husband supports her in this as they’ve probably discussed the situation at length as they are partners in their relationship.

Here, the cultural vibe (in general) is that a woman working usurps the man’s authority as man and the woman will not work because of this. (I do know of instances in South Africa where women defy this, so like anything else, this isn’t a 100% rule, but this mentality is alive in many men I have met.) I try to keep my social liberalism and feminism in check while working at a men’s empowerment organization, but some days it’s mentally exhausting to accept that this is how it works here – women are truly second class in so many ways.

The organization I work for has conversations with teen boys about “What is a REAL Man?” That conversation makes me cringe. Because the boys answer things like “not gay” or “doesn’t cry.” These boys are being socialized in a way that alienates those boys (or men) who are gay or who feel like crying to release emotions. It’s systemic, social and cultural and it makes me so sad. Articles ask why men are so angry in South Africa. They ask: Why is it that 1 out of 4 men has raped a woman? Well, maybe they’re trying to prove this uber-manhood they’ve been socialized to grow up to.

I don’t have an answer for this. However, it makes me happy to think that in America, we at least have those conversations about it being okay for men to release emotions. There’s more of a social awareness in America about different ways of viewing and living life that I haven’t found here. Then again, that would be individualism and South Africa is still deeply rooted in Ubuntu community culture. (Interesting volunteer blog post about Ubuntu here.) I’m happy that as Americans, we are generally more accepting of who people are (except maybe in small, rural counties in some of those red states : )

I’m not trying to spread “Americanism” or push Western thought here, but I’m trying to at least spread an open-minded way of thinking during my time in South Africa and question what isn't normally questioned. Will it stick? Only time will tell.

In the meantime, I'll keep defending those pieces of American culture that aren't so prevalent in South African media, like country music : )

Sala sentle, (stay well)

Casey

Ke a leboga thata! (Thank you very much!)

So my parents, who are so lovely : ), sent me a care package from America! And in this care package along with some surprises for me, my mom sent small toys for my host brother and host sister! They were super excited!

For Realeboga (ray-ah-lay-bow-hah) who is 5, my mom sent some little cars. One of them has a sticker that says “Police” which Realeboga loves because his dad is a police officer. I’m so serious, within two days, they were super dirt-covered and looked like he had them for months! He was so excited!

Realeboga, my 5-year-old host brother

(He's quite a cut-up!)

For Ororiseng (oh-roar-ree-seng), who is 9, my mom sent a package of three small plastic dolls. She loved them! She gave them all names from High School Musical, haha. What’s really cool about these dolls is that one is black, one is Hispanic-looking and the other is white – and the white one is a redhead too! Talk about diversity!

Ororiseng, my 9-year-old host sister

Toys aren’t really around in any household I’ve been to around South Africa, at least not in the way you may see an entire playroom at someone’s house in the states. Which is why I think Ororiseng and Realeboga really appreciated these toys my parents sent.

But having few to no toys makes kids creative. For instance, last weekend, Realeboga made a “helicopter” out of a piece of stick-on-tile that he cut up. I was pretty impressed! Since the family is converting their house into a guesthouse, there’s a treasure-trove of construction goods that he makes toys out of. He's quite clever.

Ororiseng, Realeboga and me
(p.s. I love that he's eating a carrot! It's just so silly!)

Thank you again mom for sending those toys! They loved them so much! Here is a short video of Ororiseng and Realeboga saying thank you. At the end Ororiseng says thank you in her first language, Setswana. You may need to turn up the sound. And sorry it's dark. I'm not really sure how to fix that.

Thank you video from Ororiseng and Realeboga
(29 seconds for those of you with slow Internet)

Ke a leboga, thank you and dankie!

Casey : )

I'm Feeling a Bit Like Molly Shannon

So it's June and I bought a heater.

Yes, I realize I'm in the southern hemisphere and it's late autumn/early winter here, but still, it's Africa. A heater is just one more thing I really didn't expect to buy here.

It gets to 5C at night! I'm not totally adjusted to the F to C conversion, but take away 5 degrees and you have literally freezing since 0C equals 32F! Yikes!

At work it's freezing too - lots of tile. My hands have always been colder than the rest of me and all I can seem to do to keep them warm is put them in my armpits. (Sorry)

But then it makes me laugh because I think of Molly Shannon as Mary Catherine Gallagher on Saturday Night Live. So the laughing then makes me forget, if even for a few minutes, how cold I really am.

Molly Shannon as Mary Catherine Gallagher
Promo for Superstar, the movie they made from the character

But don't worry, I just do it for warmth. No smelling involved or jumping backwards onto things : )


Sala sentle,

Casey

The Ren Cen Was on South African TV Last Night!

And yes, sadly, it was about GM filing for bankruptcy : (

The Detroit Renaissance Center is the mark of Detroit (among many other fabulous buildings, of course, including my favorite, the Guardian Building). The Ren Cen is the stock image for anything from auto commercials to RoboCop (which I saw for the first time in South Africa!) and even to comedy clubs.

One comedian said the Ren Cen is like Detroit giving the finger to Canada (which is directly across the water from it) with that one big building surrounded by the smaller ones.

Detroit Renaissance Center, home of GM
(as viewed from Canada)

Here in South Africa, the SABC anchor woman gives her ongoing report each night of the "global economic meltdown." Way to not soften the blow on that one . . .

I keep wondering, would they say that on TV in America? I know our news can be sensational, but would we say that? Economic meltdown? Eish. Sounds to me like someone pressed the wrong button at the power plant. Or in the hatch on Lost. (Mmm, Lost...)

It's like I'm in a really elongated Groundhog's Day. I was graduating from college in 05 when Michigan really started to feel recession. Then I moved to Cincinnati in summer 08 when the whole country felt recession. Now I'm in South Africa where the "global economic meltdown" has officially hit.

Which is quite sad because the effects of the economic recession will likely be much harsher here than America. Poverty is high - depending on the source, about one-third of South Africans are impoverished. There is little access to water, let alone it being drinkable, shortages of food and people are likely surviving on government grants.

The gap between the haves and have-nots is literally among the highest in the world. And HIV incidence rates here are the highest in the world as well. Put all of that together with an influx of immigrants and it's likely to get a bit messy. Eish.

Luckily the South African government is trying to emphasize entrepreneurship and the Department of Labor has a call for proposals out there for grant money available to those who can train workers in new areas. I suppose each country will manage along in their own way, right?

All my love goes to everyone at home in the U.S. I know some have it harder than others, especially my friends in Michigan. And if you'd like to escape to South Africa for awhile, you know how to get a hold of me : )

Sala sentle (stay well)

Casey : )

p.s. my apologies to anyone who read this when I first posted. I'm a constant editor and made a few changes.